Friday, February 13, 2009

Fine, I admit it

It's officially V-Day. I'm hatin' big time. Truth is, I can front as much as I want but I have plenty to be somewhat bitter or hostile about. 

5 star? Taking his sweeettttt old time even coming around. I won't hold my breath. Dang. I really liked him, too. Go figure. The first guy to actually meet my recently updated standards and be into me--- this can't work out right? Freakin re'. Story of my life so far.

Even my ex isn't stalking me anymore. Can a girl get any kind of love or attention without practically having the beg these days?! I kid, I kid. If I hear from him today it may be reason enough for me to go Friday the 13th on your @sse$. Just sayin'.

Facebook stalker? No more. I guess he got the hint. Except I saw him standing outside of my course room at school the other day. Creeepyyyy. Especially because he clearly saw me approaching and turned away. If you're going to stalk me, you really ought to work on your social skills and at least say hello. Increase your odds, maybe a little bit. Oh well.

And in referrence to "that girl" and "ex mama's boy" all I'm going to stay is this. F*ck that girl, honeslty it's E.X.M.B. that I'm dissapointed in. He knows that good news travels fast, and worst that I live in a small town. Just because he's living in a big city on the West side, doesn't mean social networks don't still connect. I'm hurt for a few reasons:
1. After we broke up, E.X.M.B. and I stayed friends--- I knew there was something going on with those two and I've given him numerous opportunities to tell me the truth. He never did. That hurts me- I just wanted to hear it from him. After 2 years of being loyal to the both of them, I figured I could at least have that courtesy.
2. Up until this, he was the only boyfriend I ever had who didn't betray me. He didn't cheat, he didn't lie, he was the best. This disproves it. Now instead of having had 7+ shitty dudes in my life I gotta bump the total up. No, in all seriousness- he let me down. I figured he respected me, I guess I was wrong because if he respected me I'd be cool with it.
3. I just figured he would love me forever. I know its selfish. But it freaks me out that he chose her. Any one else but her.

It kills me, because I know they're both living a lie. She's just like me, so she fills the voids I left behind. And he's nothing but a bank to her. I feel sorry for E.X.M.B because he's never going to wise up, he's always going to be this naive and think that everyone is GOOD. She is truly an evil, coniving girl, and a thief to boot. I'm not perfect, no one is but gosh this girl is about as far from a good girl as you can be. If I knew she loved him, if I knew they were really in love, I wouldn't care. I know better, I know you can't help who you fall for. But I know him and I know her- I know it's not him she loves, it's the lifestyle he brings to the table.

Sad, but true.

Happy V-day to you lucky coupled few.
I need to find a bar that doesn't card.
xoxo
B


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