Saturday, March 7, 2009

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Don't judge me

But I'm tipsy and angry and I'm going to need this post to remind me of why I'm deleting Crooks phone number tonight. Screw him and his idiocy! I've allowed him to get away with so much (like I do other guys) because he's my "best friend". Well some best friend he was tonight when I needed a ride home from work and wanted to see him! Some best friend he was all those time he let his friend talk down to me like I'm scum. Screw them Blake! THEY're SCUM. Crooked, trailer-livin, fake scums. Yeah you can rock your louis vuitton loafers but they don't mean NOTHIN if you're livin in some bootleg, boondock, trailer park you jerk! Screw you and that high horse of yours here's a reality check: to be honest, I'm just not that into you either.

Ps- I'm bleaching your Armani exhange hoodie tomorrow :) and even though I love fashion and part of me doesn't want to do it- revenge is sweeter than words can say.

Benzboy drivin off in an altima! Haha who you tryin to kid, kid. You ain't no Benz boy, you're just another wishful thinker. It was silly of me to think I could ever take your jaded self seriously. Go spend another 2 years getting over your ex who screwed you over, cool guy.

Haha ok I'm gonna laugh myself to sleep with this one. Night bloggy peepS!

Mean tipsy Blake

Brought to you by Smirnoff

HAHHHAHAHAAHA I hate when an ugly dude thinks he stands a chance cause you are gettin the shaft end of a relationship. Buddy, I don't care how bad my current dude is screwing me over, making out with someone who's below my standards won't make me feel any better. You must be out YOUR DANG MINDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!


oh man, tonight is the story of my life.

Thanks Crook, for letting me down like I knew you would, I'll remember that in the morning, if nothing else.


Now I've never been one to medle in others' affairs. I'm far from tight-lipped, but I have to speak out on this. All of the media is reporting that Chris Brown and Rihanna have reconciled. I have to admit, I am so dissapointed with the choice that Rihanna is making. I know that love is blind, and that forgiveness is an amazing thing. But what Chris Brown (reportedly) did to Rihanna is unforgivable. That picture that leaked of her bruised and beaten literally made me sick to my stomach. I think it takes a strong person to forgive, but an even stronger one to walk away from someone who abuses you. What happened to her is no accident, and I'm sure it wasn't the first time. Some people are saying, "What if she instigated the fight?" I don't care who started it, it is NEVER OK to put your hands on someone, much less someone you love!
Albeit all the crappy boyfriends I've had in my lifetime, I'm lucky enough that only ONE ever put his hands on me. I was 15, and I didn't know then what I know now: IT IS NEVER OK. Physical, emotional, psychological, any kind of abuse is intolerable. I don't care how much you love that person- you can and should learn to live without someone who intentionally hurts you!
I felt the need to speak out on this for a few reasons. The first is that my mom came from an abusive household- a family where her mother was beaten, and her father was an alcoholic. I never knew either of my grandparents because of the issues that it created in the family dynamics. I missed out on having these truly special relationships because of abuse, and I refuse to stand for it, or let it go unnoticed. My second reason was mainly my dissapointment in Rihanna. I have always been a fan of both the stars, but I can tell you I won't be buying or supporting Chris Brown until he proves he's gotten help. I'm dissapointed that Rihanna wouldn't take this as an opportunity to show the men and women of the world that abuse, (even amongst the wealthy and famous) is not ok. Because it's not. I'll never understand where people got the notion that it's OK to hurt someone, much less someone you love and are supposed to care for!
Realistically, neither Rihanna nor Chris Brown will ever read my blog. I don't care. It's not for them. This one goes out to anyone who's ever been told that they're ugly or not worthy of real love. This goes out to the women AND men who cover the bruises because they believe deep down that the very person who inflicts the hurt, loves them. They don't love you, and if they do- they love themselves more.
If you're in an abusive relationship, please seek help. If you're an abuser please take a few moments to reflect on the damage you are causing the people you "love".

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


What do you think

Is the best way to say "I love you"?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Stole my heart like a Crook

So, I've taken some time to reflect on it and decided that I definitely do have some underlying feelings for Crooky. Strong ones, at that. I don't think I'm drop the three-word bomb like he did, but I'd definitely say I'm "in like". He's the last person I talk to (sometimes see) at night, and I think of him in the morning. He made me send him a picture of me wearing his hoodie because he didn't believe me when I said I slept in it.
In the meantime, it's a little more difficult than it seems. I love Crookers- he's one of my best friends, knows everything about me and my family. We can talk about everything and neither of us really cringes either way. I am 100% at ease with him, but we both have major trust issues. His most recent ex was not such a nice girl... She was in college far away from NJland and he went to visit her, often. Spent lots of his hard-earned money, while she just kept on demanding more and more. I don't know the details of how it happened (we stopped being friends at the time, because I had a new controlling boyfriend) but they broke up. She broke his heart, and to this day I'm not 100% sure that he wouldn't go back to her. I was there the first time the broke up. I made him smile, I wiped the tears, I was the one who took care of him. I let some really stupid rumors come between us (I thought we were just friends, apparently not!) and looking back now, I really regret it. I could've saved us both a lot of heartache if I had seen then what I see now. HOWEVER, there is a point here where you remember that life is a learning experience just waiting to happen. Crooks learned not to let people know he has money (because they use him for it), and I learned not to let a guy dictate my life (and many, many more valuable lessons).
The reason why I'm rambling on and on about mine and Crook's exes is because he mentioned last night that he doesn't trust anyone. Not the sister that he lives with, not his best friends, and get this- not even me. I have to be honest, it hurt me a little bit. Regardless what mess we might be getting into trying to build a relationship, he's still supposed to be one of my best friends. How would you feel if one of your best friends (guy or girl) told you they didn't trust you?
It bothers me mostly because I know there has to be trust before there can be love. I know that if you don't trust someone you're with (platonic or romantic) it's just not good. Not saying you should trust everyone (I certainly don't) but I mean, I feel like you'd want to trust the people you spend the most time with.
I suppose if and when it gets to that point, it's something that we'll have to work on and build together. I don't trust easily either- and the fact that he doesn't trust me, only makes me not want to trust him.
Be easy, Crookers. Not everyone is out to get you. I told him last night "So what are you gonna do? You're never gonna trust again because you got burnt by one stupid [censor]? Come on! You weren't the one dating the drug addict with a gambling problem, 2 kids and an ex-wife. You live and you learn. You have to find someone you can trust!"
Now if only that someone can be me.

Friday, February 27, 2009


It wouldn't be friday if Blake didn't get a surprise visit from the 7-11 stalker. He claims he was just getting Chinese food, but I see right through his stalkerish ways... He stopped in, was grinning at me, as I'm saying on the inside "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY YOU?!" Anyone...Even mister GoodForNothingButGorgeous would be better than my 7-11 stalker. I guess I didn't give him the wrong phone number because he called me at 4:30a.m. this morning!!! Said he was coming home from Staten Italy. I told him I don't care if he's comin home from ZIMBAWBE! I Don't Talk To Anyone At 4:30a.m.!!! EVER! Unless it's a legit emergency. He then proceeded to creep and grill me about my plans for tonight and I really don't think I've ever regretted kissing someone SO much in my life. What's worse he admitted that he creeps on me at my work, drives by to see if I'm working, and otherwise just "stalks" me. As if it's something to be proud of!!!